Oct 20, 2010

A tough call: God? Family? Both?

Luke 12: 49-53

Jesus said to his disciples:
“I have come to set the earth on fire,
and how I wish it were already blazing!
There is a baptism with which I must be baptized,
and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished!
Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?
No, I tell you, but rather division.
From now on a household of five will be divided,
three against two and two against three;
a father will be divided against his son
and a son against his father,
a mother against her daughter
and a daughter against her mother,
a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”

Over the years in service as priest I am convinced of a truth. Marriage and family life is a beautiful and a good thing. That may sound like an obvious statement but the other side of that coin is just as true. When a marriage fails, when relationships are strained, when people are hurt or separated, it is a source of great pain and disappointment. It is not so beautiful. So, let’s presume that marriage between a man and a woman remains the ideal based in God’s intent for humanity and good social order. Children born of that marriage enter into that same covenant of love pledged on the wedding day of their parents. Well, that’s a beautiful and good thing.

But, you and I both know that statistically, very sad to say, about 50% of marriages fail today. Does it mean that marriage as an institution is in trouble and we should change the mix of things? It may mean more that society today has no support system for a life-long commitment. Married couples must be vigilant and persevere in their marriage over time, seeking the grace of God to sustain them. I can assure you that the priesthood is much like a marriage committment. My call to remain faithful to the priesthood of Christ and faithful to the Church is a convenant of love. So, the Catholic Church continues to view marriage and an intact family life as among the highest values.

Thursday’s Gospel from Luke 12: 49-53, however, has Jesus warning, “Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? . . . From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father . . . against his son and a son against his father. . a mother against her daughter . . .” What happened to happy married life? Why would Jesus paint such a bleak picture of such a dysfunctional family?

Well, the scriptures often reflect not just the words of Jesus but also the experience of the early Christians. Against this cultural backdrop the letters of Paul were written. It was not easy, and in fact dangerous, to be a Christian in the early centuries. As the Christian faith was adopted first by Jews but later soon vast numbers of Gentiles embraced the teaching of Paul and the Apostles, division between even loyal family members began to result. While some followed Christianity, others did not. So the result was families broken apart in favor of the faith.

The point is that God must always come first. Even first beyond our family blood ties. That’s a tough call for sure. But, even today, when one member of a family converts to the Catholic Church, it may well cause strain on other family members who simply don’t understand “why?” Yet, the call of Christ demands a price be paid. It means that we have to make a choice – a choice for God above all.

Every married couple should encourage unity in their families. To have a common united faith is best for a healthy family life and a key to greater success over time. Yet, to make a choice in favor of one’s faith, remains an ideal not to be dismissed too lightly.

It can be tough. But once God is the center of one’s life, everything else falls into its proper order.

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