Gen 2: 28-34
Heb 2: 9-11
Mk 10: 2-16
Our
Gospel this Sunday begins with a legal question asked of Jesus by the
Pharisees: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Being somewhat of a loaded question as it
always was by the Pharisees, Jesus in typical Jewish style responds with
another question: “What did Moses tell you?” Then the debate begins.
Now,
our first reading from the Book of Genesis is a beautiful one put in
context. “The Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make
a suitable partner for him.” (Gen 2: 28).
So we are presented this week as we begin Respect Life Month with two
pictures. Genesis states that from the moment of creation, our God who creates
purely out of love creates a being to love and to be loved. The suitable partner for the man was of
course one created from the same substance as him – a woman; a partner with
whom to share equally and to be seen as equal in nature and purpose. So, we interpret this as the foundation of
the married state from God himself – two equal partners, created with dignity,
not only for each other but together to be loved by God himself. Those two
equal partners would be given a great privilege – to bring new life into the world
and to do so motivated by selfless love because that is how they were created
by God who can only love selflessly. And
that union was not intended to be broken once joined together. It was a life-long bond that would be ended
only at the time of death.
Now,
we may see such a lofty idyllic image as more of a hope than a reality in light
of what we see today. So, the Pharisees
question in the Gospel may be closer to our lived experience. The whole question of divorce comes in,
something that everyone of us in familiar with either in one’s family or maybe
in your own personal experience.
With
our present day sensibilities and properly correct language we may be a bit
uncomfortable by this Sunday's Gospel.
Jesus' commentary on marriage, divorce, and adultery is a challenge to
the present day cultural experience of the 50% divorce rate, single parent
households, the same-sex "marriage" debate, the not all uncommon
infidelity we find in marriages, the silent monster of sexual abuse, the lower
number of couples being married in a Church ceremony, the not uncommon number
of unmarried couples living together (male/female) with an undecided sense of
whether to ever marry, the number of children that are born out of wedlock, and
the general acceptance of alternative lifestyles. Now that’s much closer to our
world than it was to the time of Jesus.
Those of you who have children in any level of
school know well that your children's friends more often come from
"broken" homes and second marriages. But, for all the numbers which
may paint a gloomy picture of marriage and family life, there are still thousands
and thousands of healthy, not perfect, marriages and families throughout the
world. Yet, the problems are daunting. We
are faced these days with enormous challenges to what has been coined
"traditional" marriage and two parent (male/female) households.
So,
what is Jesus saying in the Gospel? His
commentary essentially goes to the first reading from Genesis about the
equality of man and woman and God’s original intent. God created us in his image not to be
subservient or to dominate one another but to share life equally and to be
complete before him. Yet in Jesus' time
a husband could divorce his wife with barely a reason. All that was essentially
needed was a "bill of divorce" and the marriage would be over with
the women sent off. So, it’s really two approaches to the marital union we hear
today – one a reflection, as Jesus says, on our own human stubbornness. Moses allowed divorce because you were
stubborn and unwilling to hear a higher purpose to marriage, that of God’s
intent.
And
the words of Jesus which has become and must always be upheld by the Church
about the nature of the marriage covenant – that is a permanent bond of
mutually shared life and love between two equal partners of male and female out
of which is produced new life. And that
God is inviting himself to every marriage which then can become a union of
three.
So
faithfulness, respect, equality, openness to life, and a spiritual dimension in
which faith is not just words but a lived experience in family life is our
ideal. As one writer put it: “A vision
of what God’s people can be when they choose, by God’s grace, to live in God’s
kingdom.” (David Fleer: Preaching the
Sermon on the Mount; 2007). Jesus sets before us lofty ideals that are
rooted in God’s intention. But, he does not expect the impossible of us so what
he states about the nature of marriage is not impossible.
What
may be missing in some marriages is essentially that faith dimension. While there is no magic bullet for those who
share faith and live it out in family life the odds are far more in their favor
for success than they would be otherwise.
The problems in married life are real and they may well go beyond merely
Church attendance, even Church goers do scandalous things, but a return to the
ideal and inviting God into one’s marriage as the third member, along with the
support of a faith-filled community, can be a medicine to heal wounds.
In
the next week, the second synod of Bishops begins in Rome to examine this very
issue. With an open heart and mind to the movement of the Spirit we can only
pray and hope that the ultimate outcome will do good for many.
The
Church offers a pastoral solution for those caught in a marriage they feel
should maybe have not happened in the first place. Or a marriage that even after a number of
years may now show what was indicated in the beginning, called the “annulment”
process. That’s a whole other discussion but an important one. In the best but
not the impossible world, both spouses
must be invested in the relationship in a way that supports the other, that
shares mutually in life and concerns around parenting, and that can grow to the
great ideal Jesus reinforces in the Gospel:
“They are no longer two but one
flesh.” Like a child, trusting and open, we are invited to live and accept the teaching of Christ - it is ultimately, like all things of God, for our own good.
Almighty ever-living do,
who in the abundance of your kindness
surpass the merits and the desires of those who entreat you,
pour out your mercy upon us
to pardon what conscience dreads
and to give what prayer does not dare to ask
(Collect of Sunday)
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