" . . . and the two shall become one flesh"
Mark 10: 2-16
The Word: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/100321.cfm
Any one of us priests could write a book
about all that we have seen and heard.
Maybe call it: “Ministry – Believe it or not!” I think a center chapter
of the book would be entitled: “Weddings – I’m not making this up!” The chapter
may include some anecdotal events the celebrant was never told would happen such
as:
Yes, an Elvis impersonator did appear during
the Nuptial Mass and present the rings. (A planned secret of the Best Man who
didn’t tell anyone, including the priest, bride and groom, this would happen).
Yes, the Bride did skip and sing down the middle isle with her Father – in
Church. Yes, I was asked to officiate at a wedding near the bottom of a 500 ft
waterfall. (I said “No”). Yes, an open bar was found in the sacristy before the
wedding began. I’m not making any of this up – believe me. What about the guidelines set by the parish
that such inappropriate things were not allowed? Well, when you cannot imagine
that such things would happen and the parish is never informed of them ahead of
time what can be done at the moment?
Meanwhile, Wineries and Country Clubs are
encouraging couples to celebrate their nuptials at their venue and many
couples, Catholic and otherwise, are doing so. They then come to the Church
after the fact and want Father to “bless” their marriage. On and on . . . Then we hear the Biblical explanation of
marriage to seriously consider:
Our Gospel this Sunday begins with a legal
question asked of Jesus by the Pharisees: “Is it lawful for a husband to
divorce his wife?” Being somewhat of a
loaded question as it always was by the Pharisees, Jesus in typical Jewish
style responds with another question: “What did Moses tell you?” Then the
debate begins after the question designed to trap Jesus both between Jewish
tradition (Moses) and the recent challenge of John the Baptist, now gone, who
criticized Herod for marrying his brother’s wife. The larger context is worthy of reflection.
Our first reading from the Book of Genesis is
a beautiful one put in context. “The
Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable
partner for him.” (Gen 2: 28). So we are
presented this week with two pictures. Genesis states that from the moment of
creation, our God who creates purely out of love creates a being to love and to
be loved. The “suitable partner” for the
man was of course one created from the same substance as him – a woman; a
partner with whom to share equally and to be seen as equal in nature and
purpose. But it also can be seen that we
humans are not meant to live a solitary life but we are created for community
as God’s people.
So, we interpret this as the divine intention
of the married state from God himself – two equal partners, created with
dignity, not only for each other but together to be loved by God himself and to
create a harmony of relationships in which they find life through their
interaction with others. Those two equal partners would be given a great
privilege – to bring new life into the world and to do so motivated by selfless
love because that is how they were created by God who can only love
selflessly. That union was not intended
to be broken once joined together. As
St. Paul reminds us: “As Christ loves his Church.” This human sacred bond, covenant,
was a life-long bond that would be ended only at the time of physical death.
Now, we may see such a lofty idyllic image as
more of a hope than a reality in light of what we see today. So the Pharisees question in the Gospel may
be closer to our lived experience. The
whole question of divorce comes in, something that everyone of us is familiar
with either in one’s family or maybe in your own personal experience.
With our present day sensibilities and
properly correct language we may be a bit uncomfortable by this Sunday's
Gospel. Jesus' commentary on marriage,
divorce, and adultery is a challenge to the present day cultural experience of
the 50% divorce rate, single parent households, the same-sex "marriage"
debate, the painful reality of infidelity we find in marriages, the silent
monster of sexual abuse, the lower number of couples being married in a Church
ceremony, the not uncommon number of unmarried couples living together
(male/female) with an undecided sense of whether to ever marry, the number of
children that are born out of wedlock, and the general acceptance of alternative
lifestyles leaves marriage and family life in a more broken condition.
But, for all the numbers which may paint a
gloomy picture of marriage and family life, there are still thousands and thousands
of healthy Christ centered marriages and families throughout the world. Yet, the problems are daunting.
So, what is Jesus saying in the Gospel? His commentary essentially goes to the first
reading from Genesis about the equality of man and woman and God’s original
intent. God created us in his image not
to be subservient or to dominate one another but to share life equally and to
be complete before him. Yet in Jesus'
time a husband could divorce his wife with barely a reason. All that was
essentially needed was a "bill of divorce" and the marriage would be
over with and the women sent off.
I think it’s very important to understand
that Jesus’ comments on the permanency of marriage and the prohibition of
divorce is a reference to a marriage that is a real marriage. The annulment
process of the Church is an opportunity for a divorced Catholic to present
their marriage for examination to see if it was a real marriage or not.
Different from what Jesus is referring to.
And the words of Jesus which have become and
must always be upheld by the Church about the nature of the marriage covenant –
that is a permanent bond of mutually shared life and love between two equal
partners of male and female out of which is produced new life. And that God is inviting himself to every
marriage which then can become a union of three.
What may be missing in some marriages is
essentially that faith dimension. While
there is no magic bullet for those who share faith and live it out in family
life the odds are far more in their favor for success than they would be otherwise. To recognize the deep spiritual value of
marriage as a sacrament and a sacred Covenant between God and the couple in
which Christ offers his love and grace to a couple is an essential firm
foundation on which to build one’s particular married life together. The
ordained minister of Deacon, Priest or Bishop acts as the official witness of
Christ and the Church to call down the Spirit’s blessing upon that couple as
they minister the Sacrament to one another. In the setting of the Church
building that sacred environment is maintained and emphasized all the more.
Marriage and family life is a fundamental
building block for society. In today’s
culture that resists permanency and lifelong faithfulness all the more is this
icon of stability and loyalty needed. In
our Catholic life as ordained ministry and holy marriage travel in harmony side
by side we see the reflection of God’s desire for humanity to be in union with
one another – it is not good to be alone – and to cooperate with our Creator
for the common good of all.
------------------------------------
Almighty ever-living God,
who in the abundance of your kindness
surpass the merits and desires of
those who entreat you,
pour out your mercy upon us
to pardon what conscience dreads
and to give what prayer does not dare to ask.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
(Collect of Mass)
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