Now that I may have gotten your attention with that titillating title, I thought I'd step out of the norm to share a few thoughts on this controversy. Over the last few months two very fine priests of our Archdiocese, for personal reasons and not because of scandal or misbehavior, have left the active ministry to pursue another way of life. I know them both well. One I have known longer than the other but their contribution to our local Church has been commendable. However, one chose to be more public about his announcement through both newspaper and radio, which may have caused more embarrassment or confusion than he intended – or maybe not. I know this has been a cause for hurt and irritation among brother priests. As the press gets hold of such cases, they continue to twist and distort the image of the priesthood and portray us as sexually frustrated, grumpy old men. Who would want to join that group?
Reasons aside, I think it might bear some comment. Here, I speak only for myself. These thoughts certainly don’t offer the ultimate answer but I speak from my experience. I'm not unfamiliar with thoughts of the grass being greener somewhere else. In 1990 I found myself in an environment where I felt I needed to make a significant change. Among the options I considered was leaving the priesthood. That was not my top choice but it did cross my mind. After prayer and discussion, I choose the one that in the end turned out to be the best, not the easiest or most comfortable. For me, leaving the priesthood would not have been the easiest by any means. So, here is some of what has gone through this head of mine. After all, it is my blog for what that's worth.
Due to the scandal of child abuse in the Church, we have seen lawyers, newsprint, television and radio lusting for more and more attacks on the Catholic priesthood. The crime of child abuse is indeed horrific. Those clergy and bishops who are directly or indirectly guilty of such must take full responsibility to do all they can to reconcile and heal. But the value of a celibate priesthood continues to be pondered as to its relevance in today’s culture. The Roman Church is the only organized religious body in the world which insists that its candidates for priesthood forgo marriage in their ministry. Buddhist monks aside, the Roman Church has stood alone in this requirement for more than a thousand years.
Yet, I find it curious that the vast majority of those who call for a married priesthood are rarely priests themselves. Yes, there are groups of former priests who left to get married and now have mobilized to remove that requirement. Lay organizations such as “Rent-A-Priest” (yes, they’re serious about that title) encourage Catholics to invite a married priest to perform weddings, etc. I’m not sure they’ve made much of an impact.
The loudest voices for optional celibacy have no personal experience of what the daily life of a celibate priest is like. One article I noticed in favor of a married priesthood was authored by an Austin Cline who writes to educate people on the values of atheism, agnosticism, and secular humanism. They speak from the pews or from their own bias or from their own experience of married life but they only know what they see and think it all sounds good in theory. Priests who leave the active ministry usually say it is for reasons of celibacy. Partly true but from observing those who have left, who continue to do good work, the reason(s) are never only one.
The truth is, we do have married Catholic priests who serve among us. On a case by case basis, bishops have ordained married protestant clergy who have sought to become Catholic priests. While it works well, they need to make certain changes in their life style and expectations. If their children are out of the home and married themselves it certainly makes life for that priest far easier in his service to the parish. Likewise, the parish has to make significant changes in its financial support for the priest and the wife of that priest needs to understand how expectations on a Catholic priest are different from protestant clergy. She would need to search far and wide, for example, to find another woman in her situation. I can imagine that would be tough and would not be the experience among protestant clergy where the wives of clergy are the norm and can be there for support of one another as they share that common experience.
The second criticism you hear is that the priesthood is in trouble. Catholics are leaving in droves, the number of seminarians is down, and ordaining married men would be the answer to all the Church’s woes. Really? Have you seen the statistics on marriage these days? There is far more infidelity, verbal and sexual abuse, and painful divorce among those who live the married vocation than we find unhappiness, abuse or unfaithfulness within the Catholic priesthood – more indeed. Marriage and family life is in trouble far more than the Catholic priesthood. With nearly 50% of marriages ending in divorce no married couple has better than a 50/50 chance their marriage will work out. Why is there more talk about a pre-nuptial agreement these days? Because couples fear they may become the next statistic so "just in case" they want to protect themselves. A self-fulfilling prophecy? The very foundation of society, the fabric of the family unit with a committed married union of a father and mother has deteriorated to a level that we should all be deeply alarmed. I well know that divorce is sometimes a better choice as depends on the circumstances and parents who make the best of it for the sake of their children are to be commended but there is no denying that marriage is fragile these days. The priesthood is not so precarious.
Many families spend their waking hours doing all they can to avoid significant contact as children are shuttled to soccer practice or other competitive sports events or a host of activities outside the home. The sports team, coach, or school extracurricular activity provides more of a family experience for them. The kids live on junk food, have no knowledge of good nutrition, become sedentary, and develop no proper social skills. They communicate by artificial means and haven’t a clue how to write a complete sentence or a cohesive paragraph. Everything is reduced to sound bites, twitters and abbreviated words! Vowels are clumsy and in the way so just eliminate them. How do the children feel about all of this? The kids are angry and confused. If that isn’t an institution in trouble I don’t know what is. Just ask any teacher in the public or private school system how things have changed over the last number of years.
Marriage is a beautiful thing when it works well. There are beautiful couples and great kids out there to be sure. I stand in awe and admiration of those parents who genuinely make a united heroic effort to maintain a healthy marriage, a faith centered community life among their children, and do all they can to balance their family and social life for the ultimate good of their their offspring. But there are enough that are in serious trouble that it has effected society to a level to give us pause. God bless the single parent family as well. And for those who have divorced, they too need to find a home in parish life. They in particular are in need of our prayers and tangible support. While it is never easy to raise children, social conditions today have made it an uphill battle.
The National Institute for the Renewal of the Priesthood published results of a Pew research study in 2006 on the Catholic priesthood which indicated an overall satisfaction rate of 76% for priests. More specific questions on sacramental ministry, preaching, and being a part of many people’s lives yielded numbers of 90%, 80%, and 67%. The celibate commitment frees up the priest to attain such a high level of satisfaction.
Is the priesthood perfect? No, of course not but as one who speaks from the inside out, I have to say that the vast majority of priests are dedicated, fulfilled, joyful men and various surveys and studies have proved this to be true time and time again. I don’t think that any serious person is denying that we priests have work to do among ourselves and within ourselves. We are men first who later freely embraced a unique, sacrificial life for high ideals. The formation of good priests to serve the growth of parish communities demands serious formation programs. Much good has developed as a result of the scandal issue in regards to accountability for seminarians and in Catholic (Arch)dioceses around the country these efforts are showing positive results.
In the end, I believe that marriage and priesthood are complimentary vocations. They run parallel to each other in daily Catholic life and share the same sense of commitment to the Church and to those they are called to serve and form. There is a reason they call us "Father." Any skills I would need to learn as a husband and father are the same that I need for priesthood: selfless love, sacrifice for an other, generosity, humility, compassion, maturity and independance among others. I am inspired in my call to fidelity through the example of those who take their marriage seriously and make heroic efforts to become what God has called them to be in their vocation and in mine.
So, I think it behooves us to be "fair and balanced" in our commentary and in paying attention to the real signs of life around us. Much needs to be fixed but there is also much to give us confidence. May the Spirit prepare us for the sacred days ahead.
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