Soul and Body

In this column, read on for its a longer one, I thought I might touch on something that is a bit of a departure from my recent postings but is certainly a present day pastoral concern: whether it is appropriate for a Catholic to cremate after death or to have the body present for the funeral liturgy. Over the years I have noticed a decided change in Catholic practice. Thirty years ago, a Catholic funeral always had the body of the deceased present for the funeral liturgy. There was no other way, unless the individual died in a fire, was lost at sea, listed as missing on a mountain top, in a jungle, or had suffered some other fate in which their body was unable to be rescued.

Today, likely more than 60% of well meaning folks (figure given by more than one local funeral service establishment), cremate their loved one after death or make provision to be cremated themselves thereby having no body present for the funeral liturgy. If there are any remains of the deceased at the funeral liturgy, in front of the altar sits a small but decorative box with the easter candle lit beside it. Maybe some flowers and a picture of the loved one as well. This is all that remains of Mom, Dad, Grandma or whoever. The reason for this? Money.

Time and time again I have heard people say the reason for cremation is that a "traditional" funeral with the body of the deceased present, is too expensive. The cost of a casket, embalming, related funeral home and burial expenses add up to around $8,000.00, more or less. I've never heard anyone say the reason for cremation is because they reject the resurrection of Jesus as the core belief of Christianity and therefore see no purpose for the body after death. The reason is financial. We've tagged a price on death and it's just too much. (Wasn't Wal-Mart selling caskets at one time?) However, I believe something more fundamental has changed as a result. A shift in perspective and a troubling trend has arisen.

We Americans pride ourselves on practicality and efficiency. We are a pragmatic, common sense, logical and law abiding society. We are resourceful and promote this as a sacred value. We view production, mobility, good health and youth (or denial of the aging process) as meaningful. So it would be logical, then, to apply this same principle at the time of death. Bear with me as I explain.

It seems to me the secularization of society and its interpretation of death, which many Catholics have embraced, with no ill intent, is that when a person dies, that's it. It's over - Finito! The body no longer has a purpose and therefore can be discarded - turned to "dust" as soon as possible. After all that is the least expensive and the most efficient.

The person we knew and loved: the Mother who gave us life; the Father who supported us; the Grandmother who always gave her heart to her grandchildren in a special way is now gone - poof! They've just disappeared! The funeral liturgy then is reduced to a memorial service - no Christian symbol of baptism (the white garment of the pall), no sacred scriptures or cross (the Word of God which gave life to the loved one, the cross which marked this individual as a follower of Jesus Christ) can be placed on the deceased without the body present for the Mass.

So, death is best dealt with through pretending this person has simply vanished and the funeral liturgy becomes a "celebration of life" and not a witness to our faith. Yes, the beautiful prayers and ritual of the Mass make a bold statement of faith but the corporal presence of the deceased is central to this statement of faith. The living stand in the presence of death which lies beside them, not as morbid observers, but as a community of faith which enfolds their loved one knowing that death is not eternal separation but the door to eternal life. No body, no door. I once viewed the member of a family, after the funeral was over, pick up the ossuary of the deceased, put Grandma in a brown paper grocery bag, with the logo of the store upon it, and walk out with her under his arm as if it was his hat or coat. Was she a blue light special?

Now, my example may be a bit extreme; or maybe not. However, as a member of the clergy who has celebrated hundreds of funerals over the years and who has ministered to countless folks, heard the stories and seen the faith (or lack thereof in some cases) and noticed the attitudes of those left behind, I would say this utilitarian attitude about death has slowly creeped in as the more common and accepted perspective. Everyone? No, of course not. I try to avoid generalities. But enough people to create a shift in our viewpoint and enough to create a prevailing mood and accepted practice.

So, what does the Church prefer and why? That the body be present at least for the funeral liturgy. However,cremation is permissable. If the cost of a full "traditional" funeral feels like it's too much, check your life insurance policies and make provisions for funeral costs. Contact a local funeral home and compare prices. Ask about a cremation casket - simple, dignified, but much less expensive that can be used for the funeral Mass. It may be uncomfortable to shop around for such things but it does go a long way for peace of mind. We can deny the reality of death all we want but there is a 100% chance it will happen. Because of Jesus victory over death, we Christians laugh in the face of death.

The Catholic Church is pretty much the only organized religious body which has a clear ritual around death. Most Protestant or non-Christian religions certainly acknowledge death and have a kind of memorial service. But the Catholic Church is rich in sign, symbol, prayer, song,scripture, sacrament and hope during the funeral liturgy. If the body is not present in Church for the funeral Mass, only a brief sprinkling rite of the ashes is the provision.

With the deceased present in death, we say - this person existed, they were loved, they were cherished, they contributed to society, they were a man/woman of faith. More so, I truly believe that Jesus is, "Resurrection and life." That this body, created by God, is not incidental to who I am as a person. This is the person who walked this earth, that unique individual whom God created, made in his "image and likeness." This is the body, the person, who will rise at the end of time when Christ comes again and this body will be glorified, purified and live eternally! With ashes before us, all we say is - they're gone and emotional and psychological closure is indeed more difficult. Not impossible but unnecessarily difficult.

Now, I am not so idealistic as a priest to know that sometimes, the deceased has not been a paragon of virtue. He or she perhaps was a pain in the ... Maybe they caused grief and suffering; maybe scandal and great harm was inflicted by them upon others. The living would rather they just went - "poof" and disappear. Or maybe wish a far more sinister fate. I understand that very well.

As emotional a time as the death of a loved one can be, it is not a time to seek revenge or to air one's grievances. It is a time to pray for those who have died; to seek God's mercy upon them and to find reconciliation in our hearts - true forgiveness. Life as we know it here goes on for the living. How much unforgiveness are you willing to carry for your remaining days? How much festering anger or resentment?

So, look carefully at the Catholic funeral liturgy. It is beautiful in its dignity and inspiring in its hope and comfort. It all centers around the presence of the deceased and our powerful faith in the risen Lord of life.

Thanks for being patient if you've read this far. May the merciful God of the living grant eternal rest to our loved ones and hope and comfort to their family and friends.