27th Sunday: "For as long as you both shall live"

"This one is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh"

Mark 10: 2 - 16

The Word: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/100624.cfm 

Any one of us priests could write a book about all that we have seen and heard.  Maybe call it: “Ministry – Believe it or not!” I think a centre chapter of the book would be entitled: “Weddings – I’m not making this up!” The chapter may include some anecdotal events the celebrant was never told would happen. Perhaps fear he would say, “Don’t you dare.”

An Elvis impersonator did appear during the Nuptial Mass and present the rings. (A planned secret of the Best Man who didn’t tell anyone, including the priest, bride and groom, or parents, no one!).

Yes, the Bride did skip and sing down the middle isle with her Father – in Church.

 Yes, I was asked to officiate at a wedding near the bottom of a 500 ft waterfall. (I said “No”).

 Yes, an open bar was found in the sacristy before the wedding began. I’m not making any of this up – believe me. 

 What about the guidelines set by the parish that such inappropriate things were not allowed?

Well, when you cannot imagine that such things would happen, and the parish is never informed of them ahead of time what can be done now? “Close the bar, immediately!” to begin with.

Meanwhile, Wineries and Country Clubs are encouraging couples to celebrate their nuptials at their venue and many couples, Catholic and otherwise, are doing so. They then come to the Church after the fact and want Father to “bless” their marriage.  While such unexpected interventions are not the norm, thank God, there are some beautiful Catholic traditions that are being respected.  

In our first reading this Sunday Genesis relates the Biblical explanation of marriage, God’s original design for marriage “from the beginning,” as Jesus reminds us, to seriously consider in our Gospel from Mark which opens with a controversial legal question asked of Jesus by the Pharisees: “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?”  

Being somewhat of a loaded question as it always was by the Pharisees, Jesus in typical Jewish style responds with another question: “What did Moses tell you?” Then the debate begins after the question designed to trap Jesus on where he stands in their ancient traditions. 

The larger context is worthy of reflection.

Just a small but important distinction to make, among the present-day Christian Churches, the Catholic Church is the only Christian religious organization which essentially prohibits divorce and articulates the essential indissolubility of marriage – “until death do you part.” When a Catholic person is married in the Church, it is expected and assumed they will remain united for life. 

All other mainline Christian Churches while not encouraging it, make provisions for and allow divorce on a few specific grounds and generally have a more relaxed non-sacramental view of marriage.  Some even allow for alternative lifestyle marriages as such.

However, the Catholic Church is not blind to the fact that Catholics do divorce, or at least separate, sometimes for good reasons such as the personal safety of the wife and children, other times a pattern of infidelity or a serious alcohol addiction on the part of one of the spouses, etc.

Our first reading from the Book of Genesis is a beautiful one put in context.  “The Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” (Gen 2: 28).  

So, we are presented this week with two pictures. Genesis states that from the moment of creation, our God who creates purely out of love creates a being to love and to be loved.  The “suitable partner” for the man was of course one created from the same substance as him – a woman; a complimentary partner with whom to share equally and to be seen as equal in nature and design. Introvert and extrovert admitted we humans are not meant to live a solitary life, but we are created for community as God’s people.

So, we interpret this as the divine intention of the married state from God himself – two equal partners, male and female, created with dignity, not only for each other but together to be loved by God himself and to create a harmony of relationships in which they find life through their interaction with others. Those two equal partners would be given a great privilege – to bring new life into the world and to do so motivated by selfless love because that is how they were created by God who can only love selflessly.  The fruit of children is the sign of union between husband and wife. That union was not intended to be broken once joined together. 

As St. Paul reminds us: “As Christ loves his Church.” This human sacred bond, covenant, was a life-long bond that would be ended only at the time of physical death. 

Now, we may see such a lofty idyllic image as more of a hope than a reality considering what we see today.  The Pharisees question in the Gospel may be closer to our lived experience.  The whole question of divorce comes in, something that everyone of us is familiar with either in one’s family or maybe in your own personal experience.

With our present-day sensibilities and properly correct language we may be a bit uncomfortable by this Sunday's Gospel.  Jesus' commentary on marriage, divorce, and adultery is a challenge to the present day cultural experience of the 50% divorce rate, single parent households, the same-gender "marriage" debate, the painful reality of infidelity we find in marriages, the silent monster of sexual abuse, the lower number of couples being married in a Church ceremony, the not uncommon number of unmarried couples living together (male/female) with an undecided sense of whether to ever marry, the number of children that are born out of wedlock, and the general acceptance of alternative lifestyles leaves marriage and family life in a more broken condition. 

But, for all the numbers which may paint a gloomy picture of marriage and family life, there are still thousands and thousands of healthy Christ centred marriages in the Christian world and other families everywhere.  Yet, the problems are daunting. Yet, the Gospel indeed presents us with a high ideal, an ideal worth striving for.  Without such effort any marriage will either fall flat and be lifeless or in the end simply die.  

I think the greatest challenge today is that what achieves any high ideal is commitment.  We live in a time when many younger people in their 20’s and 30’s, a typical age to marry, simply have no interest in long term commitments or they are not capable of permanency.  Marriage “forever” seems too limiting, too restricting when their lives have been filled with abundance and the freedom to choose. Children are an obstruction to one’s free life. So, pets become substitutes for family life.  Raising a dog is nothing like raising a human being!   

What is Jesus saying in the Gospel?  His commentary essentially goes to the first reading from Genesis about the equality of man and woman and God’s original intent.  God created us in his image not to be subservient or to dominate one another but to share life equally and to be complete before him.  Yet in Jesus' time a husband could divorce his wife with barely a reason. All that was essentially needed was a "bill of divorce" and the marriage would be over with, and the women sent off. One opinion: If she burns your dinner, you may divorce her!

And the words of Jesus which have become and must always be upheld by the Church about the nature of the marriage covenant – that is a permanent bond of mutually shared life and love between two equal partners of male and female out of which is produced new life.  And that God is inviting himself to every marriage which then can become a life sustaining union of three. When Jesus appeared at the wedding at Cana, miraculous things happened because they invited him.  

What may be missing in some marriages is essentially that faith dimension.  While there is no magic bullet for those who share faith and live it out in family life the odds are far more in their favour for success than they would be otherwise.  To recognize the deep spiritual value of marriage as a sacrament and a sacred Covenant between God and the couple in which Christ offers his love and grace to a couple is an essential firm foundation on which to build one’s particular married life together. The ordained minister of Deacon, Priest or Bishop acts as the official witness of Christ and the Church to witness their mutual exchange of marriage vows and to call down the Spirit’s blessing upon that couple as they minister the Sacrament to one another. In the setting of the Church building that sacred environment is maintained and emphasized even more. 

Marriage and family life is a fundamental building block for society.  In today’s culture that resists permanency and lifelong faithfulness even more is this icon of stability and loyalty needed.  In our Catholic life as ordained ministry and holy marriage travel in harmony side by side we see the reflection of God’s desire for humanity to be in union with one another – it is not good to be alone – and to cooperate with our Creator for the common good of all. For those who feel called to the marriage vocation, such should be their goal from the beginning.

 

O God, who in creating the human race willed that man and wife should be one, 

join, we pray, in a bond of inseparable love these your servants

who are to be united in the covenant of Marriage, so that, as you make their love fruitful,

they may become, by your grace, witnesses to charity itself.

(Collect of  Wedding Mass)